‘Gainst the torrent around we rebel
We march in pattern to a silent song
We tromp to the beat of the knell
Recluse, we have become one body
We trudge on in infinite lines
We tread by road, over bridge, through valley
‘Neath the buzzing of blurred neon signs
Rain has melded our personal fates
We are waves on a winding track
Known only by the tone of our gaits
(labeled by the size of our packs)
Nature leaves us to our crumbled land
A seed thrown among the rocks
“Well what can we do?” asks the old Spanish man
What can we do? We walk.
6 comments:
I have given your poem serious consideration. Things which I have considered:
I can hear Ben Gibbard singing lines 5, 6 and 8 possibly with a simple acoustic accompaniment.
My favourite part is "we puddle along / 'Gainst the torrent"
I appreciate your serious consideration!
Originally this poem started out as a sonnet (partly to challenge yours) and it got the closest I've ever come to completing a perfect sonnet, but it just didn't sound right. For some reason Shakespearian form, plus ten syllables, plus iambic pentameter are just too many restrictions for me. So I countered with this.
Hearing Ben Gibbard sing those words in my head is a wonderful sound. Oh if only.
aha! i found your blog! success.
i have always loved your poetry. in all sincerity, i really believed, even at age 11 (or however old we were) that you had a real skill, and it's wonderful to see your talent continued.
you see the world through poetic eyes, michael willems.
also, in regards to your life list, which i haven't seen before but am very happy to read: my dad sings in the philharmonic chorus. we could go see a concert together.
Yussss. I liked the contrast between 'neath (very old fashioned) and neon signs (not so old fashioned).
Thanks Kerry!
Aimee, I'm pretty sure your encouragement was one of the reasons why I started this blog way back when. Who knew that a summer of carrying around a a big maroon notebook and calling girls "Duke" would have amounted to so much.
And it brings me massive amounts of excitement to think that posting my life list will present opportunities to help me complete things on it. I would absolutely love to see a concert with you.
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