Thursday, 20 December 2007

Daffodils

Wind rushing
He falls down faster and faster
Sailing across the southern sky.
The gush of wind keeping him up feels like rocks shooting up from the ground
A yellow – no, red – daffodil falls out of his pocket.
It flies up as his body falls faster down.
A missile is launched; a punch delivered that cannot be held back.
It screams, it whistles, and he falls.
As he plummets, the scream of the air wraps his brain,
Trying to smash it; make him lose focus.
But he can’t; he is too deep in dream.
Dreaming of the job he never achieved
The book he never wrote
The child whose thumb he never squeezed as he looked down in admiration
The kiss he never had, no matter how much he wished for it
That day of adventure of just escaping it all
The road trip, the concert, the unforgettable memories
That moment when his tears of sorrow meshed with his tears of joy, creating a sense of unfathomable humility
The feeling that comes with placing his girl’s – his girl’s! – head lovingly against his chest; comforting her from a bad day of work
That pride of seeing his son graduate and take on a life of his own
The day of marriage, and waking up in the morning.
All these things he thought about as his body fell
He did not brace for that shrieking instant;
That second he hit.
He was too busy mourning all the nevers of his life
That he did not see the red daffodil – no, white – land beside his broken, shattered hand.

 


Simply Remain // Spoken Word Poem from mdwillems on GodTube.

A Handprint

A sad middle-aged man
Stared out the window
I gleam of dreams in his eye.
Reminiscing ‘bout the past
Of his goals left unachieved
Of the life that had passed him by.
But with his hand against the glass
He stood their shaking
Refusing to comply again.
Without a logical thought
He pushed away from the pane
And searched for a paper and pen.
With a note on the table
For his family and friends
He threw what he cared for in a sack.
After struggling with the weight
He surrendered, leaving with
A wallet and the clothes on his back.
He took a train to the airport
Spent his saved golf dollars
And left for the first destination.
With a sense of freedom he
Had never felt before
He landed in a small, distant nation.
With adventure at his feet
A light burden on his back
He traveled the world to and fro.
He met warm, loving people
Chased his childhood dream
He made his mark on the globe.

Now no one knows
What became of that man;
Of his spontaneous move
And his senseless plan.
All that is known
Is that back on his land
That window is dusty
Except for his hand.

Grieving

For some sick reason of which we don’t understand,
When we’re at our best, when we’ve reached the peak,
We are kicked back down.
We like to think we are
Impenetrable,
Invincible,
Unstoppable,
And then suddenly,
We are stopped. Dead
Or so it seems…

We seem to think that we are forever,
And we depend on that infinite invincibility,
Thinking that will hold us up;
That it will be there forever.
So we pretend to forget what we know is logical.
So when that support does fall,
We are shocked and shaken,
And brought back down.
The only key to stop ourselves from falling flat,
Is to stop leaning on to what we know is false,
And accept reality.

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Cope

Cope
I don’t wanna cope
I don’t want to keep on trying
Keeping the faith
And the Hope
Hope?
Where have you gone?
I can’t find my ground
I am shaken, unsettled,
I’m lost will I ever be found?
Should everyday be a battle,
To not step in front of that car?
To not take a couple more pills?
To not take one step too far?
God, yeah I need you
But my core is gone
Ripped up and shredded
Spread across the lawn
Open and ready
Ready to be judged
I can’t hide it
I can’t deny it
I don’t wanna accept it
But it’s shoved
Into my face everyday
It won’t let me escape
Please don’t let my future
Go spiraling down
Until all I become
Is someone else’s frown
God I need saving
Cause my body needs relief
And I need them all to see
That I’m struggling
I’m not the boy I used to be
But in my heart
I have the mind of a child
I’m lost, I’m lost, I’m lost
Can’t be found
Please care
Please repair
Please hold
Please mold
God I don’t wanna cope
I want you to make it all go away
But you won’t God
So just get me through the day
I pray
Just get me through the day.

Sunday, 16 December 2007

This Life Brings Trouble

This life brings trouble
It comes without warning
It has a vengeance within
Stalked by mourning
With a dagger-like speed
It strikes; unexpected
You stand there broken
Your heart; unprotected
It comes with a knife
With a spear and a nail
With a pen and a tongue
A storm and a gale
This life brings trouble
With a deafening force
With precise plotting
It aims for your source
Stand firm from the ax
That slashes and hacks
When life throws trouble
Throw trouble back

Saturday, 15 December 2007

A Boy Like Him

A startling crash breaks the silence of his thoughts,
The drops thundering down on his bare head.
The wave is grasping at the beach,
Tying desperately to escape the sin it is committing.
From the shore the cracking of wet timber is heard,
The ocean swallows its prey.
And the little boy watches; helpless, numb.
His hat lies half buried underneath the sand,
Miles from its home.
And the little boy watches; helpless, numb.

A mocking fog blocks his empty stare,
Filling every crevice, leaving a shiver in his spine.
A distant plea is heard in the air.
The rock is sharp against his back.
The water, cold and merciless;
It is ruining his father’s Sunday best.
And the boy watches; helpless, numb.
A tear joins the rain eroding the features of his face,
But nobody notices.
And the boy watches; helpless, numb.

Behind his lifeless stare is a little girl laughing,
Dressed in pink with a bow in her hair.
But farther back, suppressed and hidden,
She stands in black, a rose in her hand,
Her hair is ripped by the wind.
Behind her is nothing but darkness.
And the man watches; helpless, numb.
The ocean has flooded to his knees
It leaves no feeling but the pain of the stone in his back
And the man watches; helpless, numb.

Friday, 14 December 2007

Thinking I Know

Thinking I know
Thinking I know
My mind is set
I cannot forget
That I think that I know
But my heart is unsure
For my mind is sure
That I think that I know
That my heart is right
That my soul is right
That my being is right
That my me is right
But my mind; it’s unsure
That my heart is sure
But neither is sure that the other is pure
I hate to trust either
But know to trust both
But both are so conflicting
Resisting, deceiving, pretending, contending
Neither is wrong
None are right
But in this desperate fight
I think that I know
That me will win out
And all will be right
That I will be right
That all is alright
I pray.

Home

Home is…
Home is…
Home is…
Where?
Home is your haven,
Home is where your heart is…
But what happens when your heart
Is torn up, packaged, and shipped to another home?
Home is where your house is…
Why are all the address lines blank?
Home is your castle…
Am I under attack?
Home is where your stuff is…
But my stuff has been suitcased,
So my heart’s boxed up again,
Ready to be shipped.
Maybe my home is between my houses…
In the middle of an intersection,
Where my heart is randomly scattered about,
Being driven over time after time again,
Until it’s so shattered it’s
Unrecognizable, Unsavable, Unlovable,
Yes that must be it,
Because it’s certainly not in my house,
Lying next to my bed,
Ready to be tucked in for tomorrow,
Fortified by secure walls,
Ready for tomorrow.
Will I ever find Home again?
No, Home is gone.

Friday, 7 December 2007

Such Does Life Lead Us

Taken January 7, 2006

A child playing on a teeter-totter,
A runner overcoming the hurdles,
A ship fighting against unconstrained waves,
Such does life lead us.
Tossed from fire to fire,
Shoved to the receiving ground,
Thrown into excruciating sorrow,
Such does life lead us.
Unsurmounted joy,
Anticipated excitement,
Vibrant spontaneity,
Such does life lead us.
We struggle against the boulders,
That are thrown upon are paths,
We trip over the pebbles,
Discretely scattered in our way.
We reach a glorious moment,
Where all is understood,
We fly over our burdens,
From an unexpected success.
Such does life lead us.
And such does life lead us.
Adversity, apathy, animosity,
From every aspect from our lives,
Comes the opportunity for destruction,
But then thrown into some twisted plot,
Shines a sliver of fresh renewal.
We know not where we’re going,
Nor some from where we came,
We strive for glimpses of accomplishment,
Sometimes rewarded,
Sometimes ruptured,
The strong struggle on,
The weak surrender.
Such does life lead us.
And such does life lead us.

I Ran Away

I ran away,
Refusing to hear,
The dejecting words,
I could not bear,
The punishing eyes,
Disappointed tear,
Disgusting hate,
Unsettled fear,
I stopped to breathe,
His words drew near,
I braced my heart,
I love you

Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Darkness

To start off my posting I guess I'll go for the big bang. The following poem/short story won the Scholastic National Short Story Contest and placed 43rd out of 17, 000 in the 77th International Writer's Digest Competition. It started off as a dream, grew to class doodles, and eventually found itself on paper. It was edited slightly to fit the length requirements of the contest, but I think the final outcome was the best.

Darkness. Then a flicker of light. I open my eyes to see the world hurling past me. I feel the power of the wind hitting my face and the strength of my feet hitting the ground. Before I know it, I see a huge abyss racing towards me. My mind wants to stop, but my body is willing me on. I reach the cliff and vault myself into the air. My arms outstretched and my legs sailing behind me, I feel like a bird flying for the first time. Gradually my flight abates and I begin to plummet towards sheer rock. I close my eyes. Thrusting my arms out in front of me, I feel a force pushing against them. As I reach out, I feel my hands touch a surface and I brace myself, preparing for the collision. But instead of rock, I feel a spray of water. The liquid swallows me up. I feel it pulling and pushing against my limbs, unable to decide which direction to go. I feel no pain, no urgency to breathe. I admire the world around me, deep and rich. Looking up at the surface, a shimmer of red catches my eye, calling me. I answer. When I reach it, my whole body shoots into the air as though a string, attached to my chest, is pulling me up. I hang there in mid-air, hovering over the restless sea below me, not a single drop falling from my soaking body. Then, a flash. Swirls of red encompass me. A pillar of flames reaches into the heavens, with me floating in the centre. Fire licks at my arms and legs, but all I feel is cool wisps of wind. A roaring silence echoes through my skull. I attempt to reach my hand out of the pirouetting whirlpool, but as I am just about to break free, I hit solid and can go no further. I try to see past my blazing cage and I catch glimpses of the earth falling away from me. I stare as it plummets downward until I see nothing but a tiny crumb confined to a hungry darkness. All that is left is the fire surrounding me. Then, that too, is gone. With a flick of the wind, the fire is extinguished and I am left alone to battle the unsatisfied raven. As soon as all light from the flame is dissolved, the darkness attacks me with all its strength. It rips into every crease in my body until I feel and know nothing but black. It runs its scraggly hands down my spine and engulfs my being. My body is a rag doll in its powerful grip. It is sucking existence out of me, taking with it everything I’ve ever known. Light. Coming forward, hacking against dark. I am too far-gone to comprehend. Then as my eyes slowly drop into unconsciousness, I see extreme light breaking forward and shining with all its glory. Then, I too am gone.

To begin with...

So I started this blog with the intent of actually getting my poems out of my journals and into the real world. I have wanted to self-publish them for quite a while now, but, for one reason or another, just haven't gotten around to it. So I figure the next best option is to blog them. If you know me personally, the order of the poems may seem confusing, but that may be because there really is no order. I just type out whatever poem jumps out at me which includes any poem that I have written in the past ten years. Some of them I love, some of them I dislike, some of them I wrote when I was six, some of them I wrote yesterday, and some of them I think should never be read by the public. But, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I'll try to leave my cynical comments to myself and let you decide for yourselves whether the poem is worth anything. And please, do tell me what you think.