Teaching a Refugee Classroom

When I first found out my practicum placement my reaction was excitement and then hesitation.

Wait, they use first names to address teachers there. That’s going to be a bit of a culture change.

While I was focused on losing the, in my mind, affectionate moniker of ‘Mr. Willems’, I didn’t really contemplate the section that informed me I would be teaching ESL. I figured it would essentially be an English classroom—my traditional area of focus—with a few students who really struggled at reading.

Turns out I was a bit off.

The program that I was thrown into was not quite what I was expecting. It is a unique classroom that deals specifically with refugees from Nepal. Students who have been in the country anywhere from two years to two weeks enter in to the classroom to essentially learn how to adapt to Canada. There is no curriculum, as the students have had almost no formal education in their lives, and there is no assessment, as the idea of them graduating with a diploma is nothing more than a distant concept.

In my five years of teacher education I have not had a single class on how to teach a classroom where the students don’t speak English, the culture and religion are vastly different from anything I have known, the students are dealing with the impact of living in refugee camps their entire lives, and the outcome and assessment is entirely relational.

I met with my cooperating teaching and he warned me that the job was really spontaneous—we couldn’t plan in advance because our classroom direction was steered almost entirely by the students and their individual needs. He warned that there would be a lot of counseling—these students have a hard and sordid past; they have experienced hardships we cannot wrap our brains around. He warned that it’s a bit of unique bubble—the program is essentially separate from the school as it is run through the district not the administration. He warned that the culture shock may be large—these students have often no idea how to respond appropriately to Canada.

I warned him that I was a guy who had a preference for flying by the seat of his pants, had a passion for travel and unique culture, a dislike for going by the books, and a personal belief centered around caring for others above all else. I warned him that this was my dream job.

I was set.

I just had to work on the fact that literally the only thing I knew about Nepal is that it is the home of Mt. Everest. And that I have zero knowledge on how to work with students who have come from refugee camps. And that I haven’t the faintest clue on how to plan a unit without a curriculum or an outcome.

But other than that I was set.

I’ve been with the kids for a month now and I have become extremely aware of how lucky I am to be placed in this classroom. I get to spend my days studying culture and building relationships as opposed to stressing about curriculum and assessment. I get to have extremely candid conversations (albeit in pretty broken English) about life and death from a perspective that I didn’t even know existed until a month ago. The university is still watching me to make sure I am cut out for all added pressure that being a teacher brings on, but I’M not sure I’m still cut out for all the added pressure that being a teacher brings on. After only a month of this alternate perspective, this program has opened my eyes, which I have kept very intentionally shut for the past 5 years of university, to the fact that I hate a lot of the administration and expectations that surrounds education. I have said that I wanted to be a teacher all of my life, but ‘being a teacher’ was the only socially acceptable response for where my passions pointed. I want to see people grow and learn, and when filling out a career questionnaire that automatically places me in the category of teacher.

And now, I’m not so sure.

I don’t know what this will amount to. I really don’t. But I just know that I am super excited about these next three months, super tentative about the shift that is happening in my head, and super blessed to be able to experience it all.

Engagement Shoot

55 days.

55 days until we get to tie the knot.

Crazy.

In the meantime, we got our engagement pictures back!! Our talented photographer, Chris Amat, who was ridiculously easy to work with and who made us feel really comfortable, wanted to do something other than the traditional, one-location shoot. From coffee shop to bookstore to record store to art store to park, he followed us around as we went for a date around Calgary. Check out the results!

...

The Abortion Issue

After performing a spoken word piece at church one Sunday, a lady came up to me and asked if I would be willing to perform at the Lethbridge Pregnancy Care Centre Gala. I said yes, knowing that I was pretty inexperience on the topic but willing to take on the challenge.

When I first met with the board, they asked me to write the poem from the perspective of a man whose significant other had had an abortion. I had a couple months to write the poem so I went home and did my homework. I read a couple books on abortion, watched a couple movies, and even talked to a few people who had experienced it. All of this research lead me to the overwhelming fact that I was way over my head. My heart was breaking hearing these testimonies, but I knew that they were not really my story to tell. (Not to mention that there was a lot of internal conflict going on as I was trying to write the poem that I proposed to Joy with at the same time-- abortion arguments and proposal poems do not really go hand in hand!)

So after a while I gave up on the 'boyfriend' perspective as it just sounded fake. Instead I ended up writing about why I support the LPCC and what my response really is when people ask me my view on abortion. The whole experience was just a giant affirmation as to why I support Pregnancy Care Centres-- an organization that is there to present the options to a couple in trouble, and be there with supportive counselling before and after they make their decision. What more could you ask for?

Here is my presentation of the poem at the gala:

And here is the website for the Lethbridge Pregnancy Care Centre if you want to learn more about them: www.lethbridgepregcentre.com.

Oscars - Michael's Best Pictures Edition

Every year I make a pledge to watch every single Oscar-nominated movie, but this year leading up to the Oscars I was *ahem* slightly distracted (see previous post). Turns out that planning an engagement can be a real time suck. Go figure. So I’ve included my votes for what I will think will win this year, but to be honest I wasn’t crazy about the line-up. I watched the majority of the films nominated but nothing really blew my mind (well almost nothing). So here is a list you should watch now that the Oscar season is (almost) over:

•   The East -  A really cool flick about social justice terrorists with some great acting and interesting commentary on how far is too far. Plus it's got Ellen Page for the men and Alexandar Skarsgard for the ladies.

•   Drinking Buddies – I’m surprised this movie fell flat considering the huge names that are in it (Olivia Wilde, Anna Kendrick, Jake Johnson). Some really hated it, but I found the improvised script really original. It wasn’t groundbreaking, and it’s kinda awkward at times, but it was one of the most “real” feeling movies I watched this year

•   Rise of the Guardians – K this movie came out in 2012 but I watched it this year and immediately became outraged that it wasn’t even nominated for Best Animated Feature. This is by far the most visually attractive animated movie I have ever seen. The book it’s based on has gorgeous illustrations and the movie does not disappoint.

•   About Time – I was expecting Time Traveller’s Wife 2, which is basically what I got, but a little cuter, and little more British (read as: a lot more funny), and a great moral message. It danced on the line of cheesy, but I walked out of it feeling really good and wanting to recommend it to everyone (ignore the R-rating, it does not deserve it).

•   Her – Yes this one was nominated for Oscars, but it didn’t get nearly the buzz it deserved. It was by far the best of the Best Pictures in my opinion and did so many things right. Joaquin Phoenix is just a champ. Just a champ.

•   The Great Gatsby – Again, another one that's nominated, but this one was pretty much shunned by critics. But it’s Baz Luhrmann being Baz Luhrmann: over the top, ridiculous entertainment with a great, unique soundtrack. What more could you want?

•   A.C.O.D. – I can’t tell if you have to be an adult child of divorce to find this movie funny/relatable, but regardless, I found it both. It’s essentially Parks & Recreation, but slightly less funny and slightly more honest.

•   Short Term 12 – Arguably the best movie I saw this year. It’s about a girl who works at youth shelter with her boyfriend and the challenges they face. Being in education and having a dear friend who essentially has this job, I couldn’t help but appreciate how down to earth it was. It didn’t try to be too sappy or ridiculous, it was just all goodness all over.

So now you have something to check out before you tackle all the hoity-toity Oscar pics. Here’s my official votes (who I think will win, not who I want) for those:

Best Picture – American Hustle

Best Actor in a Leading Role – Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

Best Actress in a Leading Role – Amy Adams (American Hustle)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role – Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role – Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)

Best Animated – Frozen

Best Cinematography – Gravity

Best Costume – 12 Years a Slave

Best Directing – Martin Scorsese (The Wolf of Wall Street)

Best Original Score – Gravity (Steven Price)

Best Original Song – Let it Go – Frozen

Best Visual Effects – Gravity

Best Adapted Screenplay – 12 Years a Slave
Best Original Screenplay – American Hustle

How I Asked the Love of My Life to Be My Wife

A very nervous, cold me ready to go

It was Sunday morning on Feb 23, 2014 and I had actually managed to get a decent amount of sleep for the first time in three weeks (I had left Joy early the night before under the guise that I had to get up early for the gold medal hockey game. The Olympics are the only time I could use a hockey game as an excuse and Joy would actually believe me.) Joy and I had been talking wedding plans for a couple of months already so she knew that this day was coming, but I still wanted some element of surprise. Proposing on our anniversary was the only way for me to have some semblance of surprise, so, despite the horrendous -30°c weather, today was the day. I went to Brittney’s house before church to give her more materials for the set-up as well as to grab some breakfast (because I had planned every single moment of this day down to the minute, but forgot to account for my breakfast cereal). I gave her the stuff, we put our game faces on, and it was off to church.

Walking in to the church building was great—nothing makes you feel more like a covert spy than receiving subtle nods and winks from all of your friends who are in on the gig. Now, normally after church a bunch of us go out for lunch, a process which normally takes 20+ minutes of deciding where to go. Now that everyone was in on the gig it was time to put our acting skills to the test.

Sarah: “I’m hungry.”

Everyone: “Yeah…..”

Me: “Hey, we should go to The Penny!”

Everyone: “Yeah!” “Awesome!” “Totally!” “Let’s go!”

Sooo, 0/1 on the subtle acting factor, but it worked well enough and Joy was none the wiser. I think.

I had initially been hesitant on including a group lunch date in the plans as I was worried someone would crack, but I have to make a note here: the acting performances of my friends were Oscar-worthy. Nobody giggled excitedly the entire meal (myself included) and no one blurted out, "HE'S GONNA PROPOSE!". When it came time to leave, a sufficient amount of plausible excuses were offered as to not arouse suspicion. The crew took off, leaving Joy and I to slowly gather our things. (Well, the crew sort of took off. They actually just went and hid behind a car which was mostly effective until I lead Joy out of the shop and had to turn around and surprise her with a kiss so that the others could duck for cover. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a distraction kiss.)

It was finally time for the mission to begin. Half-a-dozen roses, half-a-dozen locations signifying our time together, half-a-dozen confessions of love.

Locale #1: Echo Books. One of my favourite places as it’s the only (good) used book store in town and it’s run solely by a cantankerous old man (who was initially hesitant when I’d approached him the day before but ultimately agreed to my scheming). Importance: It’s a used bookstore. We’re Mike & Joy. Need I say more?

The First Rose

We spent an hour perusing the shelves, slowly making our way to the back room where a rose was planted as well as my first gift to Joy. During that time I actually found a few books to buy (bonus!) and we even received permission to go downstairs (a rare privilege for Echo Book patrons). The distraction of a book store actually did well to calm my nerves a bit. Finally, we made our way to the back and it only took me staring directly at the rose for multiple minutes before she noticed it. Inside the present was an old wooden journal that I had once gotten from Echo Books. I had had one of Joy’s friends inscribe it with our initials and had spent the last few weeks entering in my journal entries over the past year, which detailed the story of how I had fallen in love with her (Spoiler: it was fast and hard). After she opened the present we sat on the floor and I read her one of the journal entries. My one goal of the whole day was to make her cry and here she was crying after the first rose. #Success.

“Hey Joy?” “Yeah?” “I love you.”

Locale #2: Starbucks. Importance: It was the location of our first unofficial date (where Joy gracefully told me that I talk really loud and I realized that I was gonna like this girl), as

The Second Rose

well as it was attached to Chapters, where I first asked her out and we spent many hours looking at books together. (This location almost blew the whole operation as some of my Chapters co-workers came over to congratulate us, only for me to dramatically wave them away, mouthing “IT HASN’T HAPPENED YET!!” -- disaster averted.)

I had the table where we’d had our first date reserved and the rose planted. I ordered the same drinks we’d ordered that day over a year ago and we sat and reflected on how much had changed. She gave me her one-year gift: a ‘Smashbook’ overflowing with pictures, coupons, ticket stubs, and notes all collected over the past year. I read her a journal entry, trying to not think about the fact that her gift was totally cooler than mine. Jerk. She cried anyway. #Doublesuccess

“Hey Joy?” “Yeah?” “I love you.”

The Third Rose

Locale #3: The Gazebo overlooking the coulees. Importance: It was the destination of multiple romantic evenings, including the night that I asked Joy out. It overlooks one of the best parts of Lethbridge and has hundreds of people's initials scratched into the wood.

The walk down to the gazebo was frickin' cold—a small taste of what was to come. It’s important to reiterate that the temperature on this day was a whopping -30. I had bargained with the good Lord for warmer weather but He was not having any of it. So we pushed on, grabbed the (slightly frozen) rose, read a journal entry through chattering teeth, and added our initials to the many who had scratched their love into the wood before us.

“Hey Joy?” *chattering teeth* “Yeah?” “I love you.”

Our initials in the gazebo

Locale #4: The University Curriculum Lab. Importance: The location where I first laid eyes on Joy (and subsequently had my heart beating out of my chest).

We returned to the room where we’d had classes together in PSII and re-enacted the moment of her first coming in. I sat in the same location and told her how my heart had continued to expand as my mental checklist was fulfilled (Attractive? Heck yes. Similar interests? Check. Single? Check. Christian? Check. Thundercats Are Go!!) We then wandered around the library, noting the certain points we had conveniently found to make out in during class breaks. (I feel like this is good knowledge to remember when Joy and I are both real teachers).

“Hey Joy?” “Yeah?” “I love you.”

Locale #5: Highlands Park Lake. Importance: When Joy got home from Africa we walked around this lake over and over, taking in the lit-up fountains and adorable little docks.

Collecting roses along the way

At this point we were pretty cold, but thankfully had stopped to layer up a bit more. We walked over a bridge in the middle of the lake to find a rose tied to the central post. The routine continued: Rose. Journal. Tears. Love announced. Run back to the car.

Locale #6: A road just outside of town. Importance: Many months back, when I knew for sure that I loved Joy, I had every intention of waiting for her to come to Lethbridge so I could tell her in person. It seemed like the proper thing to do. Turns out I couldn’t hold it in, and my heart didn't care much for following procedure. One night, during an epic spring thunderstorm, I drove out to this road where I had a great view of the lightning off in the distance and told her that I loved her over the phone. She made me suffer for like 20 minutes before she returned the sentiment. Punk.

When we pulled up to this location Joy was very confused. It took a little while to set in before she realized, “Oh! Is this where you announced your love out into the prairies?” Yup, sure was. Then: “Good! And here I thought you were going to make us go all the way out to Narnia.” Cue Michael’s awkward expression...

Final Locale: Narnia. Importance: Narnia is my favourite location in all of Lethbridge (well, technically just outside of Lethbridge). After trekking through a field and over hills you arrive at a cliff overlooking a valley with the river running through it. I go there to retreat throughout the summer and Joy and I spent multiple lazy summer days here, swimming in the river and reading on the hillside.

We pulled up to the final location and I revealed the mixtape we’d been listening to over the course of the day. It was a playlist of a song from every movie that we had watched while we had been dating. Then, I read Joy the second last entry in the journal, the one I had written after I had decided that I was going to marry her, the one where I had written the words “wife” and “Joy Willems” for the first time. While she and I had talked seriously about marriage up until this point, we had avoided saying the words “fiancé”, “bride”, or “wife” because we wanted to save them. I had managed to keep myself together for the whole day, but after reading those words out loud to her I lost it a little bit. A lot-a bit. I was reminded that I am a very blessed man. We shared a moment and I could see the confirmation in Joy’s eyes as she realized that this was more than a really sweet anniversary date.

After putting on every single piece of clothing that we had in the car, we began the trek out to Narnia. It was not an easy one in the cold and snow, but our anticipating hearts kept us trekking on. As we crested the hill, the below scene was laid out before us. A table, set-up in the middle of coulee nowhere, prepared with gestures of love and romance.

Narnia

One of the things on the table was a box of chocolates from Sweet Gestures. Joy and I had gone to Cranbrook the week before the Big Day and, if you ask her, we had a somewhat lazy week each getting up around 11 a.m. and going around town meeting with friends. My version was a little different: it consisted of me sneaking out of the house before Joy got up and driving around Cranbrook, meeting up with her friends and trying to gather up all of the materials necessary for Sunday. Joy had informed me that one of her favourite places in the world was ‘Sweet Gestures’, a chocolate shoppe in Cranbrook, so I had picked up a box early Wednesday morning.

The chocolates were almost overshadowed by everything else our friends had prepared for us on the table. There was champagne and chocolate covered strawberries, cheese and meat platters, antique books, glowing candles, blankets, old suitcases, paintings made by our friends, and a plethora of other wonderful hipster decor. A mysterious amp also lay to the side. It was a lot to take in.

The Set Up

I would love to say that we sat and enjoyed everything before us, but by the time we had gotten there the food and champagne had already been out there for a couple of hours, so they were basically frozen solid. We enjoyed the moment though, and tried to take everything in. Then, I took a big breath, pulled a paper out of my jacket pocket, and started reading out the poem that I had written for her. The poem I had been writing for my bride-to-be since I was a very young boy. The poem which ended with the lines:

I want to grab your hand and stand by your side.

I want to be your servant, I want to be your guide.

I want to be the one in whom you confide.

I want to know a love that is tested and tried.

I want to share your laughs, want to share your cries.

I want to share your heart with the One who provides.

I want to do this all until the day that I die.

So that leaves one final question:

Joy Diana Friesen,
Will you be my bride?

I got on my knee for the final line and opened the ring box with shaking hands. For about a minute Joy just smiled and nodded and cried and smiled and nodded and cried some more. She was speechless, which, if you know Joy at all, is an incredibly abnormal state. In the most romantic way possible I responded, “Joy, I love you, and I want you to enjoy this moment to the fullest, but I’mma need a real answer real soon because my knee is currently freezing to the ground.” She finally declared, “YES!” so I took off her mitts and we managed to get the ring on her frozen, shaking finger together.

The Ring and the Journal

After embracing and praying for a short time I took her closer to the cliffside and yelled the words, “SHE SAID YES!” out into the valley. With that, the amp beside the table came alive with one of my favourite songs, Mumford and Son’s, “She Said Yes”, and our friends, who had been waiting below the cliff for this moment, released 100 helium LED-lit balloons up into the sun-setting sky. Well, that was the intent. I learned a valuable science lesson that day that helum + freezing weather don’t mix well. Regardless, the balloons fought a good battle and Joy and I got to watch in glee as we looked over the cliff to see our friends working their hardest to get the balloons to float. It was hilarious and beautiful and pure. We danced to the sound of banjoes twanging, yelled "Thank you!" to our friends, then quickly grabbed the champagne and booked it back to the car. We promptly returned to my home where we had tea, a heated blanket, and a small celebration with everyone who had helped me throughout the day.

Mission accomplished.

__________________________________________________

It is at this point that I must mention that Joy and I have the most AMAZING friends in the world. Like actually. Because they not only helped me plan the Big Day--talking me down from activities that were both illegal/deadly (there were a lot more explosions in my initial plan)-- but they also:

picked up the supplies,

planted the roses all over town (the caravan),

lugged all the materials for the table through the fields and hills...

including 100 helium-filled balloons,

climbed down the side of a coulee WITH the balloons (you can see them in the bottom left),

then huddled together in -30°c weather for two hours until Joy and I finally showed up.

So to every person who helped me with this process...
(Ash, Brad, Brit, Chelsea, Jenn, Mark, Mike, Sarah)
(and Ruth for helping me inscribe the journal!)

I salute you!

You are amazing and I couldn't have done it without you.

(And thanks everyone for reading this far! Stay tuned for the spoken word poem I recorded for Joy a few months back.)

Simply Remain

I'm back!

Well, not really, but I have been working on a bunch of writing, so that's really awesome. And one of the reasons I've been writing is because one of my life list goals came true today.

When I first started writing spoken word poetry I dreamt of being able to write for church. Oftentimes I would convert the Sunday sermon into a spoken word poem just for my own sake, so that I could get more out of the message and remember it better. After getting the opportunity to share my 'Apologize' video at church I was stoked, but not quit sure where I was gonna go from there.

So you could imagine how giddy I was when the worship pastor at my church came up to me and asked if I would like to contribute to the creative aspects of some of the sermons. He gave me a couple verses and told me to run with it. So with nothing but a passage of Scripture to work with (Mark 8), I went home and wrote the following poem.

The first spoken word poem I ever recorded took 5 months and was a lot of me in my basement struggling to learn new programs and invent apparatuses to make filming myself easier. The second one I recorded (and have not released yet) took three months and the help of others. For this one we had ONE WEEK to pull it together, but thankfully I had people who knew a lot more of what they were doing helping me out. So, special thanks to Chris Milani and Mike Dosso there!

This poem is the start of a series of poems, so keep checking back here or subscribe to my channel on youtube if you want to see them.

Without further ado, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=md1XcDmRT34.

Goodbye to The Office - A Recount of TV's Greatest Love Story

Disclaimer: This post might be pretty cheesy. That's ok, just rock it anyway.

Well my friends. The time has finally come. The Scrubs finale had me sad and content, the Friends finale gave me a single tear, but I don't think a show finale will bring me as much emotional response as the end of The Office. I know it's weird to talk about your emotional connection with a TV show but hey, you probably wouldn't be reading this if you didn't feel it a little bit too. The Office has been on for 9 years and it's the only show that I have followed dedicatedly from start to finish. It's weird to think that I first started watching this show when I was in Gr. 10. Man, a lot of things have changed since then. It's such an amazing feeling to be able to look back on a show and not only remember each episode, but be able to connect the show to certain monumental moments in your life or certain people that you watched it with. Probably the best part of enjoying media of any time is being able to relate it to your own life.

The Office has a boring premise--a fake documentary on people in a paper supply office--yet it has had enough character development to drive it for, what I consider to be nine strong seasons (ok fine, there were some weaker episodes, but whatever). I can't count how many times I've seen each episode as I have pretty much fallen asleep to this show every night for years. If I were teaching a media class, I would teach many lessons on the ability of The Office to take am incredibly boring premise and create characters so ridiculous and at the same time so relatable that it is able to succeed in mainstream media. (Even if, and I will always be bitter about this, Michael Scott never won an Emmy).

*Warning: There are some spoilers ahead if you've never seen an episode of The Office. *Warning: If you've never seen an episode of The Office, we probably aren't really friends. I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
*Warning: If you have a slow browser, this post may kill you. Godspeed.

One of the greatest strengths in this show is Jim and Pam's relationship. The producers did such a great job of creating a relationship that was so perfectly relatable and so entertaining. I thought it had peaked at their wedding and I honestly considered not following the show after that. But, they took it a step further and I love that they continued following their relationship as it grew into a complex and strong marriage. If you hate everything about this show you still have to admit that they have one of the best representations of a real, sincere relationships in TV history. (Even if you totally disagree with that, tonight's the finale. Don't speak ill of the dead. Let me have my moment.)

Now it's time for a walk down memory lane AKA:

Everything I Needed to Know About Relationships I Learnt From Jim and Pam

When you can declare it was, "It was a good day," despite everything else going wrong.

The ability to flirt and create a strong foundation of friendship.

Sharing in similar interests and sexual tension.

Wanting to tell someone how you feel but not knowing how.

That first kiss.

And then immediate rejection.

When time apart forces you to realize how much you care about someone.

When you are finally able to share your feelings out loud.

When you are able to evoke a strong emotion out of something so small.

Leading to that moment three years in the making.

The honeymoon stage of a new relationship.

And the decision to ask that person to marry you.

The proposal.

The decision to "come back the wrong way"-- making a life decision for a significant other even if it means giving up on a dream.

Supporting each other through tough times.

Finding out that your going to be dad.

Making a fool of yourself for the other person.

The wedding.

Freaking out for the other person (and probably my favourite scene of Jim).

The first child.

The creativity and effort put into gifts for the other.

The dedication to remaining loyal.

The hardship of a plateau. (Jim's face in this scene had me bawling).

Learning everything about your spouse and still working on keeping things fresh.

The struggles of marriage.

The importance of fighting for your relationship.

Remembering that above all things, these three remain: faith, hope, and love.

Placing the other in front of everything else in life.

Seriously though, there are things that I learned from Jim and Pam that I will be applying to many relationships in my life (romantic or otherwise). Tonight we say goodbye to them but I'm pretty sure I will be watching these episodes for a looong time (and will force my future child/spouse/friends to watch them with me).

Farewell The Office, you will be missed.



You didn't think I would make an Office post without Michael or Dwight right?